Week 4, Blog #1 Domestic Violence and Youth

The video presentation featuring Tracee Parker was probably one of the most comprehensive understandings of Domestic Violence that I’ve seen to date. I am a domestic violence survivor. Listening to Ms. Parker’s presentation I felt that she touched on a lot of information that rang true not just for me but for other survivor’s that I know.

I was physically and emotionally abused during my marriage of five years. Thankfully I was able to come to a point of resolve to understand that the relationship was unhealthy for me. I decided to seek help and an officer took me to a safe house in Brunswick, GA. I was hundreds of miles away from home and I didn’t know anyone. Tracee Parker addressed isolation by the perpetrator (University of Wisconsin, 2006). My abuser had isolated me from everyone I knew. I was in a state of dependency. My whole livelihood had become built around him under the guise of marriage.

Once in the shelter I had the chance to speak with other women who were facing the same issues and I understood that I was not alone. It’s a huge problem. I think from a victim’s perspective it can be difficult to talk about. I felt like an idiot. How did I let this happen? How did I end up in a shelter, with no money, clear across the United States?

The staff explained to me what the cycle of abuse is and it really helped me understand the patterns of domestic violence (Walker, 1979). One of the key points that stuck out to me in regards to the video presentation was when Ms Parker stated that mothers, if the children are away, will attempt to initiate a fight with their abuser before the children return home (University of Wisconsin, 2006). That idea would correspond with the cycle of abuse which has four phases: tension building, acting-out, the honeymoon or reconciliation phase, and lastly the calm phase also known as the denial phase (Walker, 1979).

If the mothers are able to get their abuser to act out before the kids get home then she knows it will prevent the children from having to experience a violent episode. The cyclical nature of the relationship keeps you on edge and as the article pointed out family members learn, including children, how to adapt and understand cues from the abuser (Fusco, Fantuzzo, 2009).

My first semester at ASU I became involved in gathering statistical information for the College of Public Programs Intimate Partner Violence Research Study. The goal as a researcher was to gather newspaper data that indicated DV caused homicides. If the perpetrator was female, two or more people had to have been killed and if male, three or more deaths had to occur in order to be considered for data. The total number of killings could not include suicide.

Because of the nature of the research more often than not the typical population that made up the additional number of victims would be the victim’s and or perpetrator's children. Finding out the majority of physically involved children in the study were more likely to be age 6 and younger was a surprise (Fusco, Fantuzzo, 2009). At that age I don’t think the children fully understand death and how the worst case scenario can play out. I’m unaware if that age has developed deductive reasoning. They have such good intentions and become involved when they see their loved one is being hurt.

When we did the blog discussion on GEMS and the pimp’s interactions with the girls it was eerily similar. You don’t have your own money sometimes. Your abuser knows your every move and if you try to leave you could be fatally hurt. It really resonated with me when the GEMS founder discussed the leaving process can take several times similar to a domestic violence victim. I believe the motivation is the same. Whether it’s a pimp or a husband, the abuser sells you a dream of life filled with love and intimacy that they are incapable of ever giving.

University of Wisconsin series on Issues for Youth Advocates and the Systems in which They Work (Producer). (2009, March 30) The Impact of Domestic Violence on Youth [online video]. Retrieved July 26, 2010 from http://www.researchchannel.org/prog/displayevent.aspx?rID=29215&fID=345

Fusco, R. A., & Fantuzzo, J. W. (2009). Domestic violence crimes and children: A population-based investigation of direct sensory exposure and the nature of involvement. Children and Youth Services Review, 31(2), 249-256.

Walker, Lenore E. (1979) The Battered Woman. New York: Harper and Row.